22: Chloe – Space, the Foremost Frontier

Worried about what to do, now it’s the end of the world? Struggling to accept the tragedy that’s befallen Mother Earth? Convinced life has no meaning?

Well, it’s time to make one!

Introducing KESPPR, the Kinsley Foundation Eight Step Plan for Planetary Reformation!

From the creators of FreeNet, Streamlined Streaming, and the ever popular Goldfish Walker, comes an all new habitat for the human race, the Hom-O-heim (final name not yet decided)!

Your Kinsley Foundation skyscraper is equipped with the latest in terraforming technologies, from its own encapsulated environments to the seed bank of every known vegetable, fruit and herb useful to mankind, as well as all the plantlife we just happen to love, all voted for, by you, to be saved for conservation!

Each Kinsley Skyscraper is the same length in space, having hidden like icebergs on old Earth, most of their lengths were subterranean, still being constructed below ground years after they’d been completed above, worked on for safety and security until they reached the required eight kilometers long!

Constructed from space age materials, the buildings of the old world fly into space to form the core of our orbital ring, where teams of engineers work diligently around the clock to secure and stabilize it for the next phase and your comfort!

Inside each of our patented ergonomic airlocks are cones of solid lead. This DILDO, adding weight and density to your skyscraper, allowed us to reach space before the oceans froze into an impenetrable barrier. Now they await our keen team of astroengineers to maneuver them into position, to be lowered on composite cables back to Earth as the shell cracks, to act as anchors for our Maglev orbital elevators!

Spinning faster than the earth itself, this space station isn’t geosynchronous. Looks like elevators to the surface won’t help – unless there’s enough ground clearance to ensure these floating cities won’t hit Earth rock!

Well don’t worry, we’ll remove any mountains and high ground in the way! The latest in non nuclear explosive technology provides the firepower of a small atomic bomb without the fallout, clearing an equatorial path! Can’t have mountains slapping our underbellies, can we?

Then comes the hard work! Orbital elevators will transport goods and personnel on the hour between space and our new, state of the art sky-citadels.

That’s right, those modern cities we left behind weren’t abandoned. They’re designed to float on the sea of rising lava, leaving their superstructures intact for relocation reconstruction and reconstitution!

Fast forward through the years and both space station and orbital elevators will grow diametrically. The sky-citadels, hanging in the air, will be a base for helicopters and environmentally friendly airships to rejuvenate nature below.

Seed banks and genetics laboratories, ready to clone and release. This time, nature will be able to grow, free of humanity’s touch, while we enjoy its splendor from above!

Time-lapse, one hundred years! And what next? Without the need for rockets, interplanetary travel is sure to follow! Simply copy and paste these techniques as needed to adapt to any alien skies!

As James Kinsley himself always says, “Anything and everything can be used as a resource, even the end of the world.”

Want to be part of securing the future of the human race? Sign up to your building’s recruitment officer, located on level 44 of your skyscraper. Together we can do more than just survive. Together, we thrive!

Your future lies in the Kinsley Foundation.
The Foundation is yours!

*

Kinsley Foundation Promo Video

👍2011         👎21

Next Video: parrot can’t hack zero gravity